It all began forty one years ago when Eric and I were going out for a meal and Jennifer offered to babysit our newborn Eric. All dolled up ready to go, Jennifer looked me squarely in the eye and told me laughingly that I looked like: ‘An advertisement for Gorta’. (I had lost a lot of weight). What an insult to everyone and everything Gorta stands for!! My own tiny shred of confidence disappeared without trace too. I could have returned the ‘compliment’ but of course I did not: ‘No one heals themselves by wounding another’. (St. Ambrose)
Her disparaging insult lodged firmly in my deepest heart, raising it’s ugly head many times up and down the long years. Whenever someone would say ‘You look great. Did you lose weight’, I cringed, picking it up as a put-down and definitely not the kindly compliment it was meant to be.
This morning, first time ever by the grace of God, I placed the whole kit and caboodle into Mother Mary’s gentle hands as She stands at the foot of Her beautiful Son Jesus Holy Cross. I spilled it all out to Her. I watched as She graciously handed my deep ‘heart wound’ to Her beautiful Son Jesus. I saw Him accept it joyfully. I saw myself walk away free as a bird bursting with gratitude and peace.
Thank you Thank you Jesus. Thank you Mother Mary. Another little piece of my broken heart is restored. To do your will is my deepest desire.
Our backs are broken from hauling purposeless baggage after us every minute of our short lives, suitcases of rocks. Jesus is longing to set us free. He whispers into our deepest heart in the midst of the mayhem: ‘You can be free if you want to be. Give Me your burden and let us walk this wonderful life-adventure together. I have so much to reveal to you’.
Placing hurtful memories at the foot of Holy Cross with Mother Mary as She presents them to Her Son Jesus, blows them completely out of the water. I can say without question or doubt that never do they return and if they attempt to, they are gone again in a flash. As harrowing memories surface I despatch them at once to that sacred sacrosanct spot, allowing healing and wholeness seep into my life one drop at a time.
Wish someone had imparted this wonderful wisdom to me earlier but perhaps had I not learned the hard way I might not be so willing and impatient to pass it along now to anyone and everyone with ears to hear.
‘Remember no child was ever as attentive and as ready to please his parent as I am ready to listen to and please you. Let Me help you. I’ll protect your every step’. (Jesus/The book of Margery Kempe)
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