The Heart knows.❤️

Our sublime adventure over for now, Diarmuid must return to his own place. Spending valuable time with my boys individually extremely pleasant, hugely interesting, choc-full of surprises. Learning curve, immense privilege for each and every one of us. God’s amazing Grace.

Marina Sarah, exquisitely elegant with her walking aid at the main door of St.Anne’s, all three of us utterly thrilled with our first catch-up in the longest time. Meandering along deserted sidewalks under a gigantic moon, stopping to chat with friendly fun loving cat. No hurry, our time our own. Cooking comforting cuisine, praying Holy Rosary in Church.

Words don’t come easy, unfeasible to articulate momentous respite for us both. From the rising of the sun to it’s setting, we lived every minute. 

I love Cardinal Robert Sarah’s observation; ‘Words spoil anything that surpasses them’. The heart knows.😀

Stay home and be delighted.😀😃

Forty one years ago today Eric and I were wed. Thank you Father God from my deepest heart, I know what it is to love deeply and also to be deeply loved. God rest your gentle soul, dear Eric.

(Two years after penning the above I read a quote from St. Mother Teresa: ‘The greatest need of a human is to love and be loved’)

This morning, I read; ‘God’s greatest gifts to me are three. First, cessation of carnal desires and pleasures. Secondly, Divine light enlightens me in everything I do. Thirdly, daily I grow and am renewed in God’s Grace’. (Meister Eckhart) 

Sage words resonating in my deepest spirit as I make my way to Church to spend one glorious hour in the presence of Beautiful Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

‘Talk to God in the morning. Start your day talking to Someone Important’. (Father Benedict Groeschel). 

Returning home, I meet Lima who hails from Lithuania. We talk about the searing loneliness Corona pandemic is inflicting on folk in these tumultuous times. ‘Do you get lonely sometimes?’, I ask. ‘No’, replies Lima. ‘Me too’, I say, ‘We are so blessed’. 

Lima in her broken English, searching for the correct words, declares joyfully; ‘How you say it?. We can stay home and be delighted. It is a gift from God’. Right there, a hug from Heaven, God always knows what we need.

Yes, Dear Lord, I can stay home and be delighted. My heart is full to overflowing with supreme gratitude to you for my life, for everything.....God’s greatest gifts to me are three.....and myriad millions more......

Foot of The Cross. ⚓️

Ash Wednesday, Holy Ashes in the sign of the Holy Cross on our foreheads; ‘For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return’. (Genesis 3:19). Elaborate plans conjured up for this Lenten time of penance and prayer. Blank canvas, new beginnings in this small microcosm of purification that is Lent before we enter into the solemn celebration of Easter.

Today, ‘the long walk’, our last one before Ruairi returns to his own place tomorrow, le Cunamh De. Seagulls standing still on a house roof, statuesque beauty rooting us to the spot. Passing by the cemetery, we pause for prayer at Dear Mom and Dad’s grave. Snow on Cnoc na dTobair mountain, streak on the apex, tiara adorning her elegant beauty. Complacent sheep happy to be photographed, all the time in the world at their disposal. 

On way home, decadent white magnum ice-creams from Banks shop, sheer gratification until oooooooops! half way through, epiphany - my Lenten fast besmirched, fell at the first fence. 

‘Let Your Face smile on us O Lord’. (Psalm 4:6)

Home later, reading Donie O’Sullivan’s piece on his battle with anxiety and depression; ‘It is one thing to think about something and feel bad about it but it is another that it just keeps coming at you and at you and at you’, Donie shares. ‘So vital to drop useless stuff’, I call out to Ruairi sitting cozy watcing television. ‘Leave it at the Foot of the Cross’, Ruairi replies, like he knew what he was talking about, raising my spirits high as a kite. 

Wonderful closing to our sublime week from God.

‘So let us serve God alone, with all our heart and all our energy, for God is the good who fills our heart and gives it peace’. (St. Catherine of Siena)

‘Let us go often to the foot of the Cross. We shall learn there what God has done for us, and what we ought to do for Him’. (Cure D’Ars)

The days we went to school. 📚

 

Pristine bridge in place of  rickety one we crossed in our youth, on the days we went to school. Myriad memories this crisp bright February afternoon strolling with Ruairi down memory lane.

Returning from school, we would walk through the packed beach absorbing and admiring Amber Solaire suntanned holidaymakers. Perfect families with perfect lives, sophisticated accents, royalty in our innocent eyes. Colourful towels, vibrant swimsuits, picnics and lemonade. Huge ice creams.

Superior universe, far removed from our own humdrum simple existence....... or so we thought at that time. 

‘Our deeds still travel with us from afar and what we have been makes us what we are’.

 (George Eliot)

We were both teenagers, the first time we met, Tad and his family from Boston, on summer vacation in Kells bay. Tad’s Mam introduced me to the music of John Denver and Gordon Lightfoot. I played their LP’s non-stop. Magical friendship,  memories that linger. 

Thank God I fell.☀️

‘Where you stumble, dig for treasure’ - an ancient adage in the spiritual tradition I read in my Lectio Divina. Inspiring wise words that fill my heart to overflowing with gratitude to God for my countless stumbles and timeless treasures gleaned in the rising.

A memory comes calling, innocent simple tale that spoke to my deepest heart over twenty years ago. Diarmuid, breathless, came bounding into the kitchen as I was preparing Sunday lunch. ‘Thank God I fell, Thank God I fell’, he exclaimed joyfully, unable and unwilling to stand still with delight. 

Turns out he was searching for his ‘Nottingham Forest’ jersey but to no avail. About to give up, he tripped over something and falling flat on the floor could see clearly his beloved jersey underneath his bunk bed. 

My little boy’s wise words jolted me making themselves felt in my spirit. Resonating deeply, they brought me comfort. Thank Go I fell - myriad times. 

Thank you Dearest Lord for picking me up every single time. You turn all things into good. From the rising of the sun to it’s setting, May the Holy Name of the Lord be praised and glorified. Amen.

‘Out of the mouths of Babes thou hast ordained strength’. (Psalm 8:2)

‘Where you stumble, that’s where you dig for treasure. It is in your weakness that you tend to find God’.   (Bishop Robert Barron)

Cozy corner.🐏🐃🐃

 

Chatting in the watery February sunshine, happy and content in each other’s company. They had just finished eating from the same large dish, totally oblivious of the fact that they were two goats and one sheep, one black, two white. 

Their obvious differences casting no shadow on their delightful time together. No intention of wasting one scintilla of a second on such puny pointless prattle as they feasted on the unity of life.

‘The wolf shall lie down with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid’. (Isaiah 11:6)

Mrs. O. 🌠

To the unaware eye, our cozy compact cottage just happened to be a few doors down from Eileen’s (Mrs.O) cozy compact cottage, but we both know in our deepest hearts that God’s perfect plan was in place from the very beginning, something so miraculous far exceeds the haphazard.

Our friendship steadfast, we recall at a moment’s notice hilarious incidents that make us choke with laughter. Merlot Sunday evenings as I would listen enthralled to her amazing ‘real life’ stories, jotting down bullet points so as not to forget. One night having no pen, I scribbled in text form and sent it to myself. Only I sent to our local taxi driver in error at 1.30AM. Poor man perplexed and a tiny bit vexed as I explained best I could.

Relating our innermost gems and jagged stones to one another always precious gift, still is, we both know they remain where they touch down. Sheltered safety in moments of sharing. 

Most days Mrs.O arrives at my window or I land at hers for daily chinwag. Twenty years of fun and freedom gone nowhere, all here safe and sound in our hearts. 

Scaffolded, totally untouchable in these Corona days of ‘Keeping our distance’.

‘Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ’. (Galatians 6:2)

        First ‘after Holy Mass’ tea in No.10 since Lockdowns began, almost two years ago. ☕️ ☕️ (Wednesday- 29/9/2021)

17/4/2023

Nolan family Zoom.💻

All of us in various locations myriad miles apart, together where it matters most though, in each other’s prayer and heart.🙏🏻❤️

Well done you, who gave this wounded world unimaginable gift of zoom. 

‘Stay in God’s Love then and you will learn more about it’s unconditional, unending, joyful nature. You will see for yourself, all manner of things will be well’. (Julian of Norwich)

                                                               Our first zoom one year ago....

“And now, when shall I catch a glimpse of your honest face-to-face countenance again; your fine dogmatically sceptical face by punch-light? Oh! one glimpse of the human face, and shake of the human hand is better than whole reams of this cold thin correspondence; yea, of more worth than all the letters that have sweated the fingers of sensibility, from Madame Sevigne and Balzac to Sterne and Shenstone’.

(Lamb to Coleridge))

Jim Jim 🐈‍⬛

Ravenous, he consumed three sachets of food, gulped large dish of milk. Friendly, definitely not a wild one and when it began to rain he slithered under our shed’s broken door. He must have been living there for a while, he seemed quite ‘at home’. 

Flawless timing, Killian and I trying to enjoy our last lunch together before his Vancouver adventure. Sombre feast, black cloud hovering over our compact cottage. Feline visitor shifted our gaze, causing us grin from ear to ear. Much needed diversion!

Final walk for now by the river discussing names for our new tenant. Frank sounded about right, for no reason whatsoever. Almost back home again we meet Kim, looking extremely downcast - ‘I am searching for my cat’, she sighed. Yes, you guessed it, Frank’s real name is ‘Jim Jim’ and he is now safely home in the bosom of his loving family.

Thing is, Jim Jim changed everything for us this morning. After nearly a full year living together (thanks to Corona), Killian and I dreaded the final moments of our horrendous parting. God in His wonderful Mercy shone a light in our darkness, asking Jim Jim drop by and sup with us. Not meant to linger, Jim’s was an assignment from on-High which he accomplished with flying colours,.

Thankyou Father God, Your all-encompassing kindness and compassion never cease to amaze me. You can not be outdone in generosity, we are always safe in your loving arms.

‘From here on Lord, I want to forget myself and look only at how I can serve you and have no other desire than to do your Will’. (St. Teresa of Avila).

‘The time has come to spread your wings and leave the family nest.Your own way in the world to make. O may that way be blessed, with happiness and all success. This is my wish for you (Killian) 

that you’ll fulfil the highest hopes and reach the goal in view.

Write as often as you can and tell us how you fare. There’ll be problems and temptations all around you there - but never let your standards fall. Be good and straight and true - remembering Faith and trust in God that has been showered on you’. (Patience Strong)

(On top of all that Kill, may your big beautiful kind heart serve others and bring a sunshine smile to many a sad face).

Laughter is the best medicine.🥳

The unexpected pleasure sometimes gives more happiness than those that we have planned for many a day. An unexpected bit of fun is like a sudden flash of sun - a burst of brightness breaking through the grey’. (Patience Strong)

Reenroe beach, last one for quite a while. Last drive in the sleek red car too, Canada beckons. Beautiful bright rainy afternoon, water flowing gently over the wide expanse of sandy shore, lots of birds everywhere.

Vivid rainbow in the heavens taking my full attention and in giddy exhilaration, kerplunk!! I stepped into a deep pool, my boots filling with freezing water.  Should have been wearing my stout shoes! wise after the event.

That was our Blessing, in a split second laughter erupted shifting our gaze, letting us know that every season has to end for a new one to begin.

‘There’s a time for everything and a season for every activity under Heaven’. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Opening our hands start by loosening our grip and opening our hearts. Lumen Christi had entered.

Never alone.🙏🏻

‘Those who come into genuine contact with Jesus Christ cannot keep Him for themselves, they must proclaim Him’. (Pope St. John Paul)

‘Know that I am with you always; yes, to the end of time’. (Matthew:28:20)

Last night, full realisation of Killian’s imminent departure to Canada galloped into my deepest heart, drenching me in desolation and catching me completely off guard. As darkness gathered round me,  a gentle whisper like a fresh breeze wafted into my soul, lifting me instantly out of my solemn self; ‘You will not be alone, you are never alone, I am with you always’.

Gentle Jesus, Lord of my life, Your beautiful reminder in my momentary melancholic memory loss, shifted my gaze, refilling my heart with joy and hope.

Remembering an event in my life many years ago. At my wits end, trying hard to survive but drowning fast in a deluge of tears, I screamed in pain; ‘Jesus what do you want from me. I am doing all that I can do but nothing is changing, in fact getting worse if anything’. Jesus’ reply will forever remain in my heart; ‘Would your life be better if you had Eric available to you all of the time and you did not have me at all?. ‘Oh no Lord’, I cried, ‘that would be terrible’. My tears dried and strength returned once more.

Another time Killian newborn baby, I beyond exhausted. In my deepest heart one night I heard: ‘You sleep, I will mind your baby for you’. Truly, I got enough sleep every single night to soldier on, no matter what came across my path.

Thank you Gentle Jesus, I am never alone. You are forever raising me up to more than I could ever be by myself. My Light and my Life, my All in All.

‘I go everywhere with Jesus. His Presence accompanies me everywhere’. (St. Faustina).

Kells beach.🏝

 

Kells, land of my birth, catapulted back in time, submerged in waves of nostalgia. Myriad memories vying for my attention - swimming in the broad Atlantic, sharing swimsuits with my siblings (never enough to go around). Whirring of our Dad’s outboard engine as we watched his boat ‘Star of the sea’, (named after our Blessed Mother), glide away, soon to become a dot on the horizon. Poor Dad returning home again, many hours later, weary and ravenous for our Mom’s appetising much needed dinner. 

Sitting across from acclaimed author, Edna O’Brien at a barbecue on the beach one night, us children in awe of her stunning beauty, her presence. Bernadette Greevy’s amazing long black hair and bright red lipstick, opera singer extraordinaire, in awe of her stunning beauty and presence too. God rest her gentle soul.

Royalty in our simple childish minds, paragons of affluence living perfect lives without adversity. However, many years later we learn that our visitors oftentimes envied our simple uncomplicated way of life in this idyllic paradise. 

Turns out there is no such thing as a perfect life, the grass isn’t green, it is brown everywhere 🤨

‘You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending’. (C.S. Lewis)