Gone too soon.😌🙏🏻

Fourteen years ago today, Eric, my husband, father of our children, died. Too young to die, too tired and worn-out to live.

Eric had it all, handsome, fun-loving personality, kind to a fault. In actual fact I often wondered how he ever gave me a second glance but he did and for that I am glad. Hard worker, gifted in many ways but from very early on I sensed something was truly amiss. Turns out, Eric, deeply broken, had already turned to alcohol for reassurance and all other wonderful gifts alcohol offers, but never delivers.

He loved me, he loved his boys, we loved him, but he got to love alcohol more. I know it was not how he wished it to be, but when one says ‘yes’ to oneself too many times, all resolve fades and self-control evaporates. Eric could never envisage life without alcohol, we could never envisage Eric an old man. Take what you want but be prepared to pay for it!

Today we remember him with love, sadness and huge gratitude to God for myriad Blessings. Our road of life was not an easy one but we got strength always to keep on keeping on. Money was scarce but there was always enough in our times of need. Laughter figured highly, still does in our daily round, we could almost always see the funny side - almost.

Looking at the boys, all grown up now, makes me wish sometimes that things could have turned out differently. Swiftly I remind myself though that was never an option. The demon drink had no intention of relinquishing it’s insidious grasp, Eric was a willing participant until all choices were denied him. 

That’s how it goes, incarcerated by his own choosing, sadly, all light extinguished.

‘He or she who becomes the slave of habit, who follows the same routes every day, who never changes pace, dies slowly’. (P. Neruda)

‘When blossom break on bush and spray, God speaks to all who grieve. There is no death, He seems to say. Look up, have faith, believe. Our loved ones pass beyond our sight, we say that they have gone. But they are somewhere in the light where Life and Love go on. (Patience Strong)

On the good days with Eric, I pitied every woman who wasn’t me. On the bad days I pitied me.😌

23rd November 2023. Seventeen years after Eric’s sad passing from this world, in my dream I asked Eric if he was going to the pub, He told me ‘no’ as he climbed into bed. I will never forget his beautiful relaxed smile as he lay there. Never once, in all our time together on this earth have I ever witnessed Eric so serenely content.

Distinct moment of Grace. Eric is happy. Thank you God from my deepest heart.🙏🏻❤️